In the suffering of bitter loss through a scam, you may wonder whether you will ever be able to enjoy peace of mind again. Perhaps the trauma of the scam is still viscerally real for you – maybe the despair, grief, anger, guilt, and depression are definitely still present.
In a book entitled Grief Relief in 30 Minutes: How to Use the Peace Method to Go from Heartbreak to Happiness, Aurora Winter describes the “Peace Method” – consisting of five steps to help release grief and to get unstuck in loss.
The Peace Method methodically invites shifts of perception – and can thereby alchemize pain into peace. It was formulated by Aurora Winter as a result of her own dealing with loss and grief.
This section describes the five steps of the Peace Method:
P = Present Moment
E = Expressing Feelings
A = Acceptance and Appreciation
C = Considering the Contrary
E = Enthusiasm
Present Moment
In the Peace Method, the “P” stands for Present. It reminds us to begin healing by coming into the present moment.
Take a few deep breaths and get centered. (Even a few deep breaths can make a substantial difference. If you have more time, meditate for fifteen minutes, such as following the inflow and outflow of your breath.)
Expressing Feelings
The “E” stands for Express Your Feelings. If you can’t feel it, you can’t heal it. Therefore, give yourself and others full permission to vent.
Share with a trusted friend or family member your fears, worries, concerns, and upset feelings. Or, express your feelings in a journal or on your computer (even a laptop). It is a gift to have a safe space to fully express your feelings and be understood before going onto any problem-solving activity.
Acceptance and Appreciation
The “A” stands for Acceptance and/or Appreciation. Stress is caused by resisting what is. When you resist what is, you will continue to feel like a victim. Remember that the past is not going to change, no matter how much you think it “should” be different. Also, when you are resisting what is, you are not empowered.
Acceptance is the opposite of denial. It means that you make allowance for the reality of the current situation – but it does not mean you take no action. Acceptance empowers you to discover the best possible response.
Appreciation takes the step of acceptance even deeper. When you are able to discover something to appreciate, your sense of being victimized evaporates, and new possibilities will emerge.
Considering the Contrary
The “C” stands for Consider the Contrary, or for rising to the Challenge. If you are suffering, consider the contrary of your painful thought.
Our minds work like a Google search. If you type “black” into Google, it is going to give you thousands of results for “black.” When you type “white”, it will give you thousands of results for “white.” Our minds work the same way. When we think painful thoughts, our minds will find plenty of evidence, and we get to be right – and feel disempowered. When we consider the contrary, and investigate peaceful or grateful thoughts, our minds will also find evidence, and we also get to be right – and become empowered.
Enthusiasm
Finally, the “E” stands for Enthusiasm. This step invites you to make a conscious choice about an action to take, or a state of being to choose.
“Enthusiasm” comes from Latin and means “in God” – divinely inspired or filled with God. Choosing to be filled with God is like having a north star to guide you in the right direction.
The meaning of the word also includes an activity or occupation pursued with intense interest.
This step invites you to take your eyes off the problem and to look toward a solution. Choose something that you love doing, find fulfilling, consider important, or find inspiring. Set a vision and goal – and then move toward it. With enthusiasm, support will come from unexpected sources and breakthroughs will occur. To harness the power of enthusiasm, make sure your goal is connected to an activity, rather than an end result. Seek to enjoy the journey in the moment.
Source: Winter, Aurora. Grief Relief in 30 Minutes: How to Use the Peace Method to Go from Heartbreak to Happiness. Los Angeles, CA: Same Page, 2013.