When we realize that we have been victims of a costly scam – and suffered a painful loss – gratitude will be the furthest thing on our minds. Instead, there will be denial (“this simply can’t be true”), anger (“why has this happened to me?”), bargaining (“maybe I can yet alter it”) and depression (“I feel very sad and lonely in all this”). This is the grieving process.
Allow the grieving to occur – the real feelings and emotions cannot just be denied, attempted to be ignored, or willed away. Rather, to mourn a loss is natural and normal.
In time, after resignation occurs with has happened, acceptance begins to unfold. This is an important turning point. We will be able to recognize that in the crucible of suffering, deeply transformative and rich lessons have been learnt. We will be able to find a measure of hope again.
With acceptance, gratitude will also dawn! We may be able to discern that good has emerged from the bitter scam situation. We may see how we were spared from a worse scenario or situation.
Slowly at first, there will be glimmers of a thankful heart. Gradually, we will be able to maintain a thankful heart, and even count our blessings. This is very powerful in reorienting one’s perspective and transcending sadness and despair.
Research studies have shown the benefits of gratitude. These include less anxiety and depression, sounder sleep, better health, higher long-term satisfaction with life, and kinder behaviour toward others.
Buddhist teacher, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, has stated “Seeing its many wonderful qualities, I rejoice and delight in this human life.” This epitomizes gratitude and appreciation.
Tara Brach, meditation teacher, psychologist and author, has written that “in addition to the ways we serve, it’s by savouring moments, feeling the sweetness of gratitude that we arrive most fully in our lives. As philosopher, Meister Eckhart, put it, ‘If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘Thank you,’ it would suffice.’”
We have all heard the saying, “Count your blessings.” In the aftermath of the recent tragic flooding in parts of Australia, families who had lost almost everything, have been seen commenting to television reporters, “At least we have each other; our pets are safe; and we still have a roof over our head. So many people, including strangers, have come to our aid.”
For any reader who is suffering the anguish of being taken advantage of in a scam, allow time to pass – and then, in the quiet moments of your life, reflect on the good things that still exist. You may be surprised at how much one can still be thankful for.
For some, thankfulness might arise in realizing such blessings as:
- Good health – no major illness, accident, injuries or disabilities.
- Few major losses, apart from the scam – for example, no break-ins into the home or theft of major significance.
- No weather or fire damage to anything.
- Having purpose and meaning in life.
In addition to gratitude, we need to consider what many others have faced – and practice heartfelt compassion. Some of the tragic situations and circumstances others are presently facing include:
- Serious illness and need for surgeries to get relief from pain.
- Poverty, inability to pay rent, resulting in homelessness.
- Loss of life savings or retirement funds through a devastating scam operation.
- Break-ins and theft, or damage to property, including car theft or ID theft.
- Physical injury – including personal attacks, assaults, and sexual molestation.
- Loss of a family member through medical mal-practice, drunk driving, violent crime, or suicide.
- Major losses through flood, fire, or another destructive event.
In closing, the Sacred Word urges: “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit … always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ (Letter to the Ephesians 5:18, 20).
After our own bitter financial scam, it was finally after two to three weeks that slowly we could live life again where we had left off before the scam. This website (and the book that Eva has written) are intended to share our story of going from heartbreak to hope again. And, in a real sense, our writing is a gift to all who have suffered the distress, misery, and sorrow of a scam.
The following topic in this section is related to Gratitude. It is Positiveness.
Alexander and Eva Peck